i get real
by Dr. Weymin
Summary: I'm back my friend, with enough comedy and adventure for every reader. The icarly gang and spencer now find themselves in the real world. How will they react when they find out that their entire lives are a TV show on nick, and their all played by actors?
1. Fortune tellers and turtles

CHAPTER ONE

Carly and Sam were at their school, Ridgeway high. They were both by their lockers, which were near each other. "I still can't believe that he gave me an **F** on my Biology test." Sam complained loudly. "Just because I got all of the wrong answers doesn't mean I should get an **F**."

"Maybe you should just try bribing him to give you an **A**." Carly suggested playfully."

"Nope," Sam said, taking Carly's wild suggestion seriously. "An **A** would sound too suspicious. A **B** at least. And besides, where am I gonna get the money?" Sam said resignedly.

"I don't know." Carly said. "Your allowance, maybe?"

"Nah." Sam admitted, "You know I always spend it all on beef jerky."

"Yeah." Carly said. "Just couldn't help prodding a little bit."

At that moment, Freddy walked by. "Hello, people," Freddie said. "Or should I say, Person and _Sam_."

"You already used that insult, nub-brain." Sam said. "Now, you got any meat?"

"No," Freddie said, a little repulsed. "And even if I did, I wouldn't share it with you."

"No, you wouldn't share it with me." Sam agreed. "You would give it _all_ to me,"

"And if I didn't?" Freddy challenged.

"Then I would force you to." Sam said smugly. Then she waltzed into the teacher's lounge, picked a leg off of a chicken, and began to eat it.

"Wow. Where do you find the nerve to do things like that, Sam?" Asked an astonished Carly.

"She's goanna get caught, just watch." Freddie said smugly. Sure enough, Mr. Howard walked into the teacher's lounge, while reading something on his phone. Before he looked up, Sam placed the chicken bone into Freddie's hand, gave it a pat, and walked off as if it had never happened.

Mr. Howard looked up from his phone, and shouted, "Freddy Benson! How dare you soil the teacher's lounge food!? Now I have to throw it all away, because I don't know how much of the chicken you drooled on or licked!"

"Mr. Howard," Freddy stammered, "I didn't do- It's not my fault- You don't-"

"No! You will serve a two hour detention after school, and that's final!"

Freddy angrily chucked the chicken bone at the wall. It ricocheted off the wall, and hit Sam on the head. Freddy turned and fled the scene, just before Sam whirled around like a coyote, and screamed,

"Okay! Who threw the chicken bone?"

Carl looked worried, and said, "Maybe you should calm down…"

Sam ignored her as she eyed the hall menacingly. When nobody answered, she ran up and slapped Gibby hard on the face.

Gibby was quiet for a second, while he felt his cheek with his hand. "Oww," He said.

"Yeah, it stings, doesn't it?" Sam said, as she grabbed hold of his shirt collar.

"Yes. It does." Gibby said frankly.

"That's what you get for throwing that chicken bone at my head."  
"I didn't throw it!" Gibby said.

"Oh yeah? Then who did?" Sam challenged.

"Freddy did. You put the chicken bone in his hand in the first place."

"Oh…" Sam said, sheepishly letting go of Gibby's shirt collar. She walked quickly out of the room.

Carly sighed, knowing that Freddy was gonna get an unpleasant surprise from Sam. "Oh, Gibby," She said. "Why did you have to tell her it was Freddy?"

Gibby argued, "She had me by the shirt collar! I do whatever I have to do to take care of _number one_!" He accented the 'number one' by taking off his shirt, patting himself roughly on the chest, and giving a manly grunt.

Carly groaned, and exited the hall. As she turned the corner, she ran right into the magician girl who asked Freddy out to the girl's choice dance.

"**Carly!"** She screamed suddenly.

"**Ahh!"** Carly screamed in fright. Then she screamed, **"What!?"** When she didn't answer immediately, she screamed, **"Why are we screaming?"**

Finally, the girl said "Come," And beckoned Carly to her locker. She did the combination. Then, much to Carly's astonishment, she clambered through the locker door, and disappeared into her locker.

"Okay… that was weird." Carly said. "How are you fitting inside your locker?"

"Come see for yourself," Came the cryptic reply. Carly sighed, and bent over to look into the locker. To her surprise, the locker was impossibly spacious inside. She squeezed through the tiny threshold, and landed into what appeared from the inside to be a fortune teller's tent.

"Magically enlarged?" Carly asked.

"Yes," The girl answered. "Now, I have brought you here, because I was getting a strong signal from you."

Carly frowned, and said, "Are you sure it's not my laptop?" She retrieved her laptop from her backpack, and held it up. " I have long-distance wi-fi" She explained.

"No, I am positive. The signals are coming from your mind."

"My mind?" said worriedly. She grabbed her head in her hands and shut her eyes tight. She then spoke in the manner that one would reprimand an unruly pet, saying, "No! Bad mind! Stop sending signals!"

She stopped for a second, then thumped herself hard in the forehead.

"Oww!" She complained. "I hope my mind felt it, because I sure did!"

"Relax," the strange girl said. "All that I mean is that you have a touch of destiny in you,"

"Okay…english please?" Carly said.

"_You will travel to a distant world, a world quite like ours, but quite different as well."_

"Sure." Carly said. She was more than a little wierded out. She wanted nothing more than to escape the awkward situation. "Well, I need to go and feed my pet turtle." Carly lied. It was a pretty random lie, but it was all she could come up with.

"Turtle." The other girl said. "What's its name?"

"Oh, you know," Carly stalled. "It's name is… turt…turd…turdy."

"Turdy?" The other girl asked, unconvinced. "You named you pet after a turd?"

"Yeah! Why not!?!" Carly asked defensively, even though she had no such turtle. "He's small, and brown. So I called him turdy."

On that awkward note, Carly Shay squeezed out of the locker, and ran home, as this little encounter had caused her to miss her buss. She arrived home, huffing and puffing, and out of breath. Her hair was all messed up by the wind. She opened the door to her apartment, and saw something that made her gasp- her eyes wide, and her hands to her wide O shaped mouth.

Her big brother, Spencer, was working on a strange project, quite unlike anything that he had ever created before. It took her breath away.

Spenser turned to her, and said, "Maybe the fanfiction readers will find out what I'm making if they review this chapter!"


	2. Blueprints From a friend

**Since I have gotten one review so far, I'd like to thank the reviewer, and leave note that it is for the sake of that single reviewer that I am writing this chapter. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do-**

**Al**

CHAPTER TWO

Carly stood in shock at the doorway of her apartment, staring at the odd contraption that her older brother had built. He was, indeed, working on an odd creation.

Spencer was an artist, and he had made many great sculptures. He also, however, occasionally made electronic sculptures, that spun, or lit up. But this electronic sculpture looked very absurd, and was far different than the rest of the electronic sculptures that he had made.

The sculpture that Carly was gazing upon was very tall, and was made of polished steel. It had a large base, with many wires, switches, and motors. It was supporting a large, snake-like arch. The arch had lights all around it, and had a sleek design on it. On the side of it, was a large control panel, with many switches, knobs, and buttons. It even had a keypad. Spencer was almost finished, just screwing bolts and tightening panels.

When Carly still said nothing in response, Spencer turned around and said, "Hey there, little Carl-o. You like my new invention?"

Carly was still in shock, and all she could mutter was, "uh-huh,"

"Come on, Say something," Spencer said. "I've been working on it all day."

"Umm…" Carly floundered, "You usually make sculptures, don't you? Since when did you make inventions, especially huge, scary, foreboding looking ones like that?"

"Heh, heh, This? Scary? How could Carly think that…" Spencer chuckle to himself. Then he turned around to continue working on it, and screamed loudly. "AHHH!"

Carly ignored him, and just said, "Why are you making this?"

"Oh," Spencer replied dramatically. Then he added a dramatic pause, (He loved to explain his inspiration for his art). He said, "I was actually inspired by these blue prints that I found. As he said this, he held up advanced looking blueprints, showing diagrams of wires and generators.

"Who drew those?" Carly asked. "I know you didn't."

"What if I did?" Spencer asked. "Do you think I'm incapable of designing advanced blueprints?"

"Yes" Carly answered frankly.

"Yeah, you're probably right." Spencer admitted.

"So who made the blue prints then?"

"I don't know." Spencer said. "I found them in the mailbox, with a little note that said, _'from a friend'"_

Carly sighed, and said "..and you built it?"

"Yeah! It looked really fun. And it is fun! Besides, I'm finished now," said Spencer, as he wiped sweat off of his brow, and put away his screw driver.

"Well, you can't go building something, just because somebody told you to." Carly argued.

"Why?" Spencer whined.

"Do you remember what happened the last time we built something that somebody else designed?"

Spencer gulped.

"It ended up being an illegal nuclear power generator. We could have gotten into serious legal trouble."

"Oh, yeah." Spencer mumbled. "But I still want to finnish it."

"You don't even know what it does!" Carly argued.

"That's why I wanted to finnish it! Now that it's finished, I can test it out, and find out what it does," said Spencer, his hands up to emphasize his point.

"Curiosity killed the hamster," Carly said.

"Don't you mean Cat?" Spencer corrected.

"No, I mean hamster. Why do we need to be racist with animals. Why can't hamsters and gerbils find a niche in wise adages and proverbs?"

There was a scilence.

"I don't know how to respond to that," Spencer said. Then again, his sister had always been one to spout out random accusations and passions.

But even as she was saying this, Carly found that she agreed with her brother. She felt this overpowering urge to understand this wicked looking machine. She wanted the power that it yielded, to learn it's secrets. She wanted to learn the function of each and every button, knob, and switch.

" You know what? Let's try it anyway." Carly said.

"Yeah." Spencer agreed. "Besides, were not hamsters. There's no harm in curiosity if we're not hamsters."

Spencer switched on the machine. It began to bleep, and whirr. The inside of the arch glowed bright blue, swirling with wicked red."

Carly and Spencer held hands, and jumped into the vortex. "Wait, I forgot my makeup!!!" Carly wailed as she fell into a different dimension.

"Carly!" Freddy shouted. He had just seen Carly wailing, and falling into the vortex. He had just come back from detention.

Sam busted into the room. "What happened Fredwierd?"

"Carly just fell into that- that thing," he stuttered.

"Get out of the way, Frednerd, I'm going in." Sam shouted, as she took off her sweater, and flung it aside.

"Freddy, if I never get out of this, tell your mom I stole 40 dollars form her purse."

"Okay," Freddy said. "Wait-what?"

Sam then dived into the strange solution floating vertically between the arch, and it rippled like water.

"Wait! I don't want to be alone!" Freddy whined. He grabbed hold of Sam's ankle, and fell into the vortex with her.

Down in the lobby, lewbert frowned, and said, "If you don't review this story, you just might grow a wart like mine. A big, hairy one."

**Come on people. If you want another chapter, you know what to do.**


	3. Inside the nerd Cave

**I would just like to thank the people who reviewed. You people earned this chapter.**

CHAPTER THREE

Carly, Sam, Freddie, and Spencer were all falling wildly through different dimensions. They zoomed down endless tunnels, catching glimpses of different times and dimensions, and snippets of conversation, music, shouting, and explosions.

Carly and Spencer were in front, still holding hands from when they jumped in. Sam was screaming like a little girl. Freddy, who was still holding on to Sam's ankle, looked up confusedly at the wailing Sam. After a second, he shrugged, and began to wail his head off as well.

They whizzed wildly throughout the passages, which were rimmed with light and glowing gel. All throughout their journey, they took unpredictable twists and turns. Try as they might, they couldn't turn back around to go back home. They were being sucked down a fixed route, in the manner that gravity pulls a skydiver back to the earth.

Finally, they went trough one specific threshold, and fell into a room. Spencer fell first, then Carly on top of him, then Sam, and Freddy on top of her. All four of them were in a dog pile. After a short silence, Sam said in a grumpy voice, "Why is there a nerd on me?"

Freddy groaned as he climbed off of the pile. Sam flipped off of Carly and Spencer, already regaining her ground. Carly climbed slowly off of Spencer. Spencer flipped over on his back. He tried to get up, but was too lazy. "Help me get up," Spencer said.

Sam and Carly each grabbed hold of one of his arms, and stuggled to lift him up.

"So heavy… what did you eat for breakfast!?" complained Sam, as she finished pulling him to his feet.

"Leftover ribs." Spencer mumbled.

"I can't believe you." Sam said.

Carly chimed in, and said, "Yeah, Spencer, who has ribs for breakfast?"

Sam looked at Carly and said, "Oh, there's nothing wrong with eating ribs for breakfast. What I can't believe is the fact that Spencer ate all of the ribs, and didn't save any of them for me!"

"Yeah, but you did that to me last time! I had leftover ribs that I was gonna eat for lunch, and you ate them all!" Spencer said.

"Yeah, but I made a necklace out of them! You didn't!"

"You guys!" said Freddy, who had been silent the entire time. "Look," He had been looking at the room, which Carly, Sam, and Spencer seemed to notice for the first time.

"_Woah_," said Carly, in awe.

"Holy _chizz_" said Sam.

"Oh my _sweet baby ray's_," exclaimed Spencer.

They found themselves in a sort of scientific technology room. They had just fallen out of a portal that was identical to the one that Spencer had built, wicked and foreboding. The entire rest of the room was adorned with technology. There were enormous plasma screen monitors connected to computers, which displayed scientific data and statistics, in graphs and tables. Some showed digitally animated 3D models of the portal machine that Spencer had created. Others showed cameras, recording various rooms, hallways, and entrances.

"Holy _chizz"_ Sam repeated. "This guy's nerd cave beats Nevil's by far. Freddy, this guy must be, like, your nerdy role model,"

Freddy was not amused.

"Why don't we get out of here?" Carly suggested.

"I'm with you all the way," Sam agreed, as she ran for the door. She turned the handle, and a blaring alarm rang.

!!!

"Time to go," Sam said, as she ran out the door. "Wait up!" Freddie called, as he ran off to catch up to Sam.

!!!

"Come on!" Carly said to Spencer, as she dragged him through the doorway.

"Wait!" Spencer wailed. "I need to think of a funny way to tell the readers to leave reviews!"

"Oh, don't worry about it!" shouted Carly. "They're good people, I'm sure they'll leave nice long reviews anyway."

And so Spencer was dragged out of the building by Carly, wailing for reviews.

___________________________________________________________________**Is Spencer right, or is Carly just an optimist? Or is Carly just saying whatever she has to say to get out of the building, and taking it form Gibby (Taking care of #1) YOU can help the story along, by leaving a nice long review. Leave your opinions, ideas, and write what you thought was funny. All reviews are appreciated. Just for the record, I'm making this up as I go along, so any ideas that you donate to this story will be appreciated, and taken seriously, because I'm struggling to come up with ideas myself!**

-A word form Sam-

There's only one thing better than reviews, and that's meat. So if you decide not to leave a review, then just come on over, and bring me a pound of pure meat.

(Ham is a favorite, but any meat will do)

If you refuse to review or bring me meat, then I will find out where you live, and hand deliver you your own personal wedgies.

So if you don't know where to find me, or are too lazy to give me meat, then you better leave a nice long review.

Or you better hang on to your underpants, especially if you're a nerd.

-End of message-


	4. The girl who hugged Freddie

**Thank you very much for all of the nice reviews. They keep me going! They all made me happy, so here's another comedy loaded chapter that I hope will make YOU as happy as I am.**

CHAPTER FOUR

Sam exploded from the science lab building. Freddy emerged soon after, huffing and puffing from all of the running. He looked ruefully up at Sam, who hadn't even broken a sweat. She disregarded his glare, surveying the landscape. A couple of seconds later, Carly emerged, a screaming Spencer in tow. "Readers! Review!" he wailed.

"Calm down!" Carly said. "The readers already left some nice reviews!"

"Oh," Spencer said. "Well, why didn't you say so?" He stopped screaming, stood up, and brushed himself off.

"We need to get away from this area," Freddy said.

And so they began to run away from the building. But no sooner had they ran two blocks away that a teenage girl, about their age, approached them. She was climbing into a taxi when she saw them. She looked at them for a brief second and her eyes passed them by, and then continued to climb into her taxi. Then she did a double take, and shot out of the taxi, bumping her knee on the way out of the car, but seeming to ignore the pain out of her excitement.

"Hey lady!" said the taxi driver. "Are you coming, or not?"

"I don't care, just take the money," Said the excited girl. The taxi driver shrugged, and drove away.

"Oh my God-" The girl whispered.

Then she screamed excitedly, in a high pitched voice, the way girls will do.

"_**AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"**_ she screamed, because she was excited.

"_**AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"**_ Carly screamed, because she was startled.

Carly, Sam, and Spencer each stiffened awkwardly one by one, as they were hugged without warning. "Okayyyy…" Carly said awkwarkly.

"Freddy!" The girl shrieked, "I love you!" and hugged him tightly. She did not let go.

It was Freddy's turn to freeze awkwardly.

"Freddy, you are so hot."

"Eh," Freddy muttered.

"Oh, I'm sorry," The girl said. "You're not Freddy. Duh. You're Nathan Kress. You play Freddy in that TV show on nick."

Freddy was still processing what she just said, and then she said, "Nathan Kress, you're so hot."

"Hey lady, I don't mean to be offensive when I say this but…" Sam said, "what planet are you from, that you think he his hot?"

"Earth, duh!" said the teenage girl, still hugging Freddy.

"Then you're one weird earthling." Sam said.

"Excuse me!" said an offended Freddy, "You said that you don't mean to be offensive,"

"Yeah," Sam said, "but I didn't say it to you,"

"Well it doesn't matter," Freddy said. "You should still-"

"Be quiet!" Carly said.

All was silent.

"Okay," Carly said. "We don't know who 'Nathan Kress' is, and we don't want to find out!"

"_He's_ Nathan Kress," The girl said, as she pointed at Freddy.

None of them looked convinced. Freddy held his hands up in the air helplessly.

"I'm serious! You guys can stop pretending, I read the actor names during the theme song,"

"OOKAY…" Carly said.

"Well, it was nice meeting you," Spencer said awkwardly.

"Well, okay then, bye!" The girl said.

"Wow, that was scary," Freddy said.

They wandered off into the night, not knowing where they were going. They then stumbled into a boy who was walking two dogs, a Black Chihuahua, and a beagle. The beagle was portly, and well muscled, pulling against his leash, and climbing the ground to get ahead on the walk. He had blunt features, long flappy ears, and a tall flag tail. The Chihuahua was the size of a small rabbit. He was spidery and bony, and his large black eyes bulged out of his head. His domed head resembled the shape of an apple, and his long ears were swept back. He walked with his head held high, keeping his little legs stiff as he scurried along.

The boy was hispanic, and about average height, with neat, but shaggy hair. When he approached them, he froze. Then he approached Carly and said, "You're Carly, right?"

"Yeah," Carly said. "I'm not Miranda Cozgrove…whoever that is,"

"Yeah," Said the boy,

"Carly, Sam and Freddy" said Spencer, gesturing to each person as he introduced them.

"Right," The boy said. He then pointed to the muscular beagle, and the small, black Chihuahua. "The beagle is Numa, the Chihuahua is Yoda," he said. "And I'm… well, some people know me as Mr. Weymin, but you can call me Al,"

"What kind of name is Mr. Weymin?" Sam asked.

"Yep, you're the real Sam." he said.

"You strike me as a nerd." Sam said.

"You strike me as a rowdy tom boy with an attitude, and who has been arrested about three times before, and who's kissed some guy named… Freddy is it? In the fire escape."

Sam, who usually had a comeback for everything, was rendered speechless. "Wha-" she stuttered. "How-"

"I know a lot of things about you guys. A lot of people do,"

"How?" asked Freddy, who was equally taken aback.

"Well it seems I have a lot of explaining to do," said Al Weymin. His voice was layered with tones that suggested not only complex thought, but also understanding beyond that thought.

"Yeah, _chizz_," Sam said frankly. She did not like being left in the dark. It made her feel stupid.

"So how did we get here," Carly asked eagerly.

Al Weymin adopted a contemplating expression, and said, "I don't know for sure, but I have a theory."

"Oh, spare me the nerd talk," Sam said.

"Hey, listen up Puckett," said Al fiercely. "I'm an artist. I'm a musician. I'm a writer. I get As and Bs in school. But I am not a nerd. I am anything but a nerd,"

"Really, because all of that sounds pretty nerd-like," said Sam.

"I'm an artist," said Al. "I draw cartoons and write comics. But I'm also a martial artist."

The boy then jumped high in the air, and immediately conducted several complicated martial arts sequences in rapid fire.

"Wimpy," said Sam, who was secretly impressed.

"Okay, well, you can help us, right?" Carly said, getting back on topic.

"Yeah. You can stay at my place tonight. I'll explain in the morning." said Mr. Weymin.

"Great!" Freddy said.

On the ground, Yoda the Chihuahua shivered.

"Aww," Carly said. "Does he bite?"

"Yeah," said Mr. Weymin, "But it doesn't hurt."

Yoda stood on his hind legs and begged to be held, using Carly's legs for support, and trying to climb up them.

"Okay," Carly said, and picked him up.

Then Sam lifted Numa, the heavy, muscled beagle, as if he weighed nothing. He grunted appreciatively, and licked her cheek with a large, rough tongue.

"Ugh," Sam said.

She then turned to Freddy. He looked at her. Their hands bumped together.

"You know what?" Freddy said.

"What?" Sam said.

"It would be awesome if the readers would leave some long reviews."

"Yep," Sam agreed. "It would."

Numa the beagle wagged his tail at the mention of reviews.

**I am literally making this up as I go along. I thought it was a nice touch to include myself. By the way, the Beagle, Chihuahua, and the martial arts are all real. You'll get another chapter by the end of the day if there are enough reviews, so remember, each review counts, (even yours.) And all reviews are appreciated greatfuly. Anyway, tell me what you liked, but mainly, I am in desperate need of ideas. I could barely think of what to make happen next. If you guys could write some ideas in your reviews, it would be awesome. By the way, just so you know, I literally have zero options on what to make happen next, so it is GUARANTEED that one of your ideas will be chosen.**

**P.S. I have a new idea for a story. What if I were to make an icarly choose your own adventure! If I would it would probably take a lot of work, and I'd have to finish it ALL before I publish it, but it sounds like it would be fun. I can think of billions of options for that story, (if I ever get around to it.)**


	5. A long and soundless night

Chapter Five

**Again, thank you for all of the reviews. I love each and every one of them. **

N. This is a highly descriptive chapter. I felt author-ish, and was inspired to write a chapter like this. Sorry if it's a little short. I've been really busy for a long time, what with the holidays, and teachers trying to cram in as much homework as they can before the break. I'm back, and I hope u guys haven't forgotten me or my stories. But know this. If I ever stop writing one of my stories, you will always get a new chapter back within seven days. I never give up on my stories. Never. I can guarantee you an ending to this story.

Carly, Sam, Freddy, and Spencer Stayed at Al's house that night. It was a long, and soundless night. It was calm, and undisturbed, but it was by no means a peaceful night.

A peaceful night is accompanied a comfortable murmur of nature. The gentle lull of the outside world settling down rumbles to a rhythm that one can tick his heart alongside. The trees and the leaves shift to a beat that one can catch, fall asleep, and rest to.

But if you have ever slept on a soundless night, then you probably realize that it causes for an uncomfortable and restless experience. The entire sleeping world is plagued with lack of sound. The silence is hollow and empty, and your mind will wonder without falling asleep. It will invent without dreaming. It will ponder with eyes peeled open. This is an especially uncomfortable ordeal when you are left with things to think about, to ponder. Your mind will puzzle over it until your skull resounds with headaches. And still it will grapple with concepts unexplained, walking the tightrope that is the borderline of reality.

This is the kind of night that they slept to. A still and silent night: a dead night.

Sam tossed and turned on her bed, wondering how this stranger knew so much. She was suspicious. Or was she just paranoid? How was she to know? There was just nobody around to confirm her reasons. The silence roared on.

Freddy lay on his back in his bed, thinking similar thoughts. Who was this person? He looked pretty ordinary, but he knew things that Freddy thought were safe between him, Carly, and Sam. He was sure that nobody had told.

And yet the stranger knew.

Freddy stared into the darkness for an answer. Nothing sprung from it. All was silent, all was still. He stared into oblivion.

Carly shivered in bed, wrapped in blankets. It was a chilly night, but her shivering had nothing to do with the cold. She was intimidated by this knew world. It was similar, yet very different. It was strange and foreboding. Just as Magic Malika had Foretold. She tried to ignore the darkness closing in around her. It was indeed a moonless night. No landscape out of the window. No silvery light reflected on the wall.

Total darkness. That was all.

Darkness that spurred conscious thought.

Al Weymin folded his hands behind his head, staring at a ceiling which he could not see, because of the darkness. Surrounded of black. Sleeping near the bottom of his bead, Yoda the black Chihuahua was invisible in the pitch black. Yet his eyes shown like great marbles.

Al Weymin wondered how he would tell them. He wondered how he would tell them that the world they lived in was broadcasted all over the world, every night at five o'clock. He sighed. "Better to show them, I guess," He whispered to himself. "Yeah, I guess that's what I'll do."

And the darkness pressed on…

The next morning, the deep darkness lifted. "Morning guys!" Al said, breaking the spell of silence.

Slowly the icarly gang woke up, and grumbled down the stairs. After an awkward breakfast of cereal and bacon, (Sam insisted), the shaggy haired Hispanic boy held up a DVD.

"Do you know what this is?" He asked.

"Hey!" Carly said with interest. "It has my face on it."

The air was thick with an apprehensive feeling.

"What is it?" Sam asked. She wanted to know more that ever. She hated not knowing.

"Well, it's a… let me show you." Said Al. He pushed the DVD into the DVD player. After several naked brothers commercials and True Jackson previews, the main menu flashed on. All silently pressed 'paly all'.

"Alright gang," Said Al. "I have a feeling the fans won't find out what happens next until they review this chapter."

"Show me, or else." Sam said. She held up a threatening fist to Al Weymin.

"Or else what?" He asked.

"Or else this!" Sam said, as she attempted to punch him. He plocked it easily with a wave of the hand.

Freddy snickered. Sam glared at him.

"Come on, Sam." Al said simply. "When will you learn that the martial arts are superior to any kind of barbaric wrestling!"

"Just shut up and give me some meat!" said an angry Sam."

* * *

**Sam can get meat in the next chapter, but the next chapter doesn't come until you review. That's right, you , at your computer. It only takes a minute. Come on! Sam is hungry!!!**

You know what to do.


	6. i get real

Chapter 6

**I got three reviews on the last chapter, from three awesome reviewers. If you reviewed the last chapter, you can be proud that YOU made this chapter come as soon as it did.**

It was a tense moment. As Al pressed the 'play all' button, an episode began to play. It started with a recorded episode of Carly and Sam's webshow in the studio.

"_I'm Carly!"_ said T.V. Carly._ "I'm Sam!"_ said T.V. Sam.

"Hey!" Freddy said. "It looks like somebody made a season disk of all our iCarly shows! Somebody illegally copied all of our web episodes!"

The iCarly episode continued to play. The gang stared at Freddy blankly.

"Really guys!" said Freddy, grabbing the DVD case. "Look! Somebody's copying our web shows, and making these DVDs!"

Freddy then flipped the DVD case around, and said, "Look! They've got a price on it! Theyre selling it!"

"I wish it were that simple." said Al. Then he paused the T.V. screen. "Take a look you guys. Notice anything odd?"

Sam chewed her bacon with a pensive look on her face. She had in fact helped herself to Al's fridge.

"Yep," Sam said after some thought. "There's a nerd in the shot,"

"What?" Carly asked.

Freddie looked annoyed

"Freddy," Sam explained. "He's a nerd. And we can see him on the T.V. He's not supposed to be visible to the viewers."

"You got it," Al confirmed. "Freddie is supposed to be behind the camera, but you can see him on screen with you guys."

"So what?" Freddie shot back, "I get in the shot all the time, when I want to make a point."

Al shook his head. "No, you usually turn the camera around to face you. But you aren't usually in the shot with them."

"I am sometimes," Freddie argued.

"When I switch to the B cam, I'm usually in the shot."

"Yeah," said Al. "But how do you explain this." Al pointed to the screen. For the first time, the iCarly gang noticed the B cam on the screen. It was true. T.V. Freddie was holding the portable camera. And the B cam was also clearly visible in the shot.

"Wait a second," Carly said confusedly. "If the A cam isn't recording us, and the B Cam isn't recording us, then which of our cameras is?"

"I don't know," Sam said. "The C cam?"

"You know we don't have a C cam," Freddie said.

"Sure we do." said Carly. "Remember the Cap cam?"

"No, it couldn't be the cap cam. My mom made me take it apart after I used it to spy on a detention for our 50th web show," Freddie said.

"Well then what about the pie camera?" Carly asked.

"Yeah," said Sam. "A dork like you could leave it lying around anywhere in the studio."

"Nope," Said Freddy "I left it in Mrs. Briggs' back yard, remember?"

He paused, thought for a moment, and asked "Did she call me a dork?"

"Sam paused, put a finger to her chin, and said, "I don't know, maybe… YES!,"

Sam and Freddy then began arguing loudly. It got louder and louder. Al became annoyed. Carly didn't look like she was taking it too good either. Finally they could take it no longer.

"Stop arguing!" They said in unison.

"But she called me a dork!" Freddie complained.

"What do you want me to do, lie to him?" Sam asked them.

"At the very least…" said a steamed Al.

"Fine," Sam said. Then she put on a sweet smile, and layered her voice with sarcasm, saying "I'm sorry Freddy, I don't think you're a dork,"

"Good." Freddy said. He crossed his arms.

Sam shifted in her seat. Then her eye twitched. Finally she couldn't resist, and she said, "Freddy, I don't think you're a Dork, I KNOW you're a dork."

"Enough!" Al said.

"Yeah!" Carly said, attempting to sound tough, but ending up sounding uncertain.

"So now, I've got a question for all of you guys." He had all of their attention.

"If none of you guys are recording that shot, then who is, I wonder?"

"Sam opened her mouth to respond, but was surprised when she found no answer. She was used to being in control of the situation, or at least having a good comeback when she wasn't. Now there was nothing to say. She simply didn't know.

"I don't know what it could be," said Carly nervously. She too couldn't come up with an answer.

After a couple of seconds, Freddy said, "It's Nevil, it's got to be."

Al shook his head. For the third time that day, he said, "I wish it were that simple."

Sam did not like suspense any more than the readers did. She chewed her bacon angrily, and said, "Come on, readers! Review this chapter, so that Mr. Know-it-all can finally tell me what's going on!"

* * *

**Once again you guys, thank you for all of the great reviews! They make me very happy. Now I'll try to get another chapter to you guys as soon as possible if you guys can try to leave long and thoughtful reviews, deal? Reviewing takes less than a minute, but if you leave one, then you can find out what happens really soon. I don't like leaving my readers in suspense, so if you leave reviews, you can find out what the iCarly gang thinks of their lives being broadcasted**


	7. i eat spray cheese

Chapter seven

**Wow you guys, I got many reviews on chapter six. Thank you guys for each and every one of them. I love them all. One generous reviewer named Hermione solo compared my writing style to the author Obert Skye. I've never heard of that author, but I wonder if any of you guys have. Anyway, I'd like to thank my faithful readers for leaving reviews. I enjoyed each and every one of them thoroughly. Anyway, here's the next chapter, hope you like it.**

_**! IMPORTANT !**_

Author's note: When I wrote this chapter, I needed a way to make a difference between the characters on the TV screen, and the characters watching the T.V. It would be too disrupting to say, 'TV Carly… TV Sam…' so I decided to use italics. Anything that is written in italics is happening in the iCarly episode that the iCarly gang is watching with Al. Your awesome, last thing I'm gonna say.

_**! IMPORTANT !**_

-please enjoy chapter seven-

Al shook his head. For the third time that day he said, "I wish it were that simple."

Al then turned toward the TV screen. He pressed some buttons on his remote, and another episode began to play.

_The episode began at Ridgeway school, in front of Sam's locker, with a zoomed-in shot of Sam's face. She was holding a can of spray-cheese. She squirted some of it onto her finger and put it into her mouth. She smiled wistfully, closing her eyes._

Sam's first response was, "Mamma does love the spray cheese." Then confusion registered in her features, and she said, "Wait a minute, I don't think I was ever recorded while I was doing that! For a shot that close, the camera man would be near enough for me to bruise up his face _and_ break his camera!"

Sam, Carly, and Freddy watched confusedly.

_Guitar music played in the background as Sam ate her spray cheese. There was a faint laugh track. The words __**executive producer Dan Schneider**__ appeared on the screen as Carly came around the corner and said, "Hey. What's that?"_

"_Lunch," Sam said. Another laugh track played._

"Who's laughing!" Sam said. "Whoever thinks that spray cheese for lunch is funny can get spray cheese down their pants! And who the heck is Dan Schneider?"

"You just don't get it, do you?"

Sam didn't like being left in the dark. She watched on.

_Carly took the can of cheese from Sam, and read, "Low fat cheese in a can? This is what your mom gave you for lunch?"_

"_Hey," Sam said, "I'm just happy she woke up before noon."_

_Another laugh track._

_The name __**Steve Weiner**__ appeared on the screen._

"Wow," said Freddy, as he watched the show. "Suddenly, my Mom doesn't seem so bad."

Sam gave him a dirty look.

_Sam took the cheese back, and continued to eat as Freddy came from around the corner, and said, "Hello ladies, or should I say, lady and Sam." Another laugh track. _

Freddie chuckled at his own joke. Sam looked mad.

_TV Sam was not amused either. She silently raised her can of spray cheese, and sprayed Freddie in the face. Carly looked astonished. Sam smiled._

It was Sam's turn to laugh now. Freddy reflexively put his hand onto his head. He shuddered at the memory.

_Sam raised an eyebrow. Freddy shook most of the cheese off of his forehead. Another laugh track was audible. Carly snatched the cheese from Sam's hand. "Hey!" Sam said._

_Carly said, "You can have this back when you learn to handle squirtable cheese responsibly!"_

Al laughed. "What are you laughing at?" Sam said.

"It's funny." Al said, as he paused the show.

"Sam tried to punch Al in the face, but he blocked it easily. She tried again and again, to no avail. Finally Al got tired, and sighed as he tripped Sam, and she fell on her butt.

At first, it didn't register. She looked up and said, "Oww."

Freddy smirked.

She stood up to punch Freddy, but was once again blocked by Al.

"Aww, come on." Sam said. "If I can't punch you, then at least let me punch Freddork."

"Stop arguing!" Carly said. "Can't you see? Somebody is spying on us."

"Close," Said Al. "Keep watching,"

'_Written by Dan Schneider' Came on the Screen. Then Directed by Roger Christiansen. A teacher emerged from a classroom dressed in a Chicken suit. "Hi Lisa," The teacher said as she walked by a girl. "Hi Freddy," She said as she walked by Freddy._

Al paused the TV again. Then he said, "So what do you think this is? What does it seem like to you?

Carly's eyes widened with realization, and she whispered "A TV show."

Since I got so many reviews for the previous chapter, I was motivated to write this one as soon as I did. If you want another extra awesome chapter to come soon, then please leave a review.

Come on people, press the button. Only takes a minute. I enjoy your opinions about my story.


	8. who is Miranda Cosgrove?

**I am very happy with the amount of reviews I got for the last chapter. So I tried my best to whip up a chapter as fast as I did. I'm sorry, I know this is really short, but I needed to give you something to read tonight, instead of nothing.**

Al paused the TV again. Then he said, "So what do you think this is? What does it seem like to you?

Carly's eyes widened with realization, and she whispered, "A TV show."

"Bingo," Al said. "What we have here is a TV show of your life, Carly. And it's being broadcasted every day on a TV station called Nickelodean."

Carly looked horrified. "That's impossible."

"It's right up there on the screen," Al said. He then pressed play, and the theme song began to play. "Look, you even have your own themesong."

"I do?" Carly said in confusion, as she watched the theme song play moments of their life. They were all surprised how many snippets of their life the theme song showed.

"Who's singing?" Carly asked.

Al smiled. "You don't recognize the voice?"

Carly looked thoughtful.

Sam smiled, and said, "Sounds like you Carls,"

"It can't be," said Carly, "I don't remember ever singing this song. I've never even heard of it in my entire life-,"

"-But here it is, sung in your voice," Al completed. Carly looked scared.

"Keep watching," Al instructed. After a while, he paused the screen and said, look at that."

He pointed to the words Miranda Cosgrove.

"Who is this Miranda Cosgrove?" Carly said. "Sounds like some conceited celebrity. A fancy name like Miranda. Like she needs to be extra girly. Couldn't just settle for Mira, she had to be Miranda. And Cosgrove also sounds too saucy. The way it has the S in it, like its supposed to sound extra smooth or something." She said, "Cossssssgrove," to prove her point.

Al, Sam, and Freddy stared at her strangely. Carly often had strange ideas about things.

"Well you're kind of right." Al said.

"How?" Carly said.

"She's an actor." Al said.

"And who does she play?" Carly said.

"She plays you." Al said.

"That's impossible." Carly said incredulously.

Come on you guys. You know what to do.


	9. I'll never understand girls

**I got two reviews, so I'd like to thank two awesome reviewers very much. Hope you like this chapter. Remember to read, review, and most importantly, **

_**enjoy.**_

"That's impossible," Carly said incredulously.

"Look at this," Al responded as he pulled out his laptop. It showed you tube videos of Miranda Cosgrove, Jeanette McGurdy, and Nathan Kress. They were talking about the iCarly show, saying things like, "My favorite iCarly episode was the one where…"

"What is this?" Sam asked. "I always knew that the government had a secret cloning process."

"No! You've got to believe me, okay?" Al said. "You guys live in sort of a parallel dimension. We watch your world on TV."

"What kind of nub do you think I am! Well, I'm sure Freddie believes you, but I'm not a nerd like him," Sam said.

"Yeah," Carly said. "Exactly how dumb do you think I am?"

"You don't believe me?" Al said.

"Well, kind of," Carly said.

"No _chizz_," Sam said.

"You know that's impossible," Freddie said. "Parallel dimension? That sounds like something out of some lame story on a fan fiction website!"

Al was silent. He sat down and thought for a while, while the iCarly gang continued to watch the iCarly episode in disbelief. The wheels in his head turned. And turned. And turned round and round and round. Finally, he had an idea.

"Alright you guys, you don't believe me? Fine. I know just how to convince you."

"How?" Carly challenged.

"We'll just have to pack our bags and go to nickelodeon studios." Al said. "Carly, go wake up Spencer, he'll have to drive us there. Freddie, come help me find the address online. Sam… try not to break anything."

"No guarantees," Sam said, as she searched an antique vase for any money that might be hidden in it.

"You know what, why don't you play with the dogs." Al said. "Numa wants to play around outside."

"Okay, sure," Sam said. "I've always been good with animals,"

"But she's never been good around humans," Freddie said.

"Take it back!" Sam said, as she whirled around to face Freddie. "Or else,"

"or else what?" Al said.

"Or I'll pound…" Sam frowned as she remembered that she couldn't harm Freddie as long as Al was there to protect him. She hated the martial arts, because it made people better at fighting even if they weren't very ripped.

"_Chizz_," Sam said, as she kicked a wall angrily, and walked out the door.

"Thanks buddy," Freddie said.

"No problem," Said Al.

"I'm back," said Carly, as she came down the stairs. "Spencer says he'll be up and dressed in five minutes."

"Good. I'll get the car started."

"I'm hungry," Carly said, "Got anything to eat?"

"Um, now really isn't the time, we can eat once we're on the road." Al said. "Can you wait?"

"Oh, I see," Carly said, narrowing her eyes.

"What?" Al said, completely confused.

"You think I'm pudgy," Carly said.

"What?" Al said.

"You don't want to give me food because you think I'm pudgy," she repeated.

Freddie looked confused. So did Al.

"No, I said we'll buy some on the road, but right now we should probably get packed."

"Right." Carly said sarcasticly. "And when we do order food, you'll say,

_Hey carly, you could lay of the fatty foods._"

Al looked confused. "Carly," He said annoyedly, "You look perfectly healthy. If you really want to eat, there's spaghetti in the fridge."

"Well, since I'm gonna eat, I should probably leave the room before my skirt explodes." Carly said sarcasticly.

Freddie looked at her a little strangely. "Carly," he said. "We're about to see if our lives are played by actors, and you're worried that he thinks you're pudgy!"

Carly stormed away.

"Freddie, what do you do when she acts weird like this?"

"I don't know," Freddie said. "I'll never understand girls."

Outside, Sam was saying to herself, "I don't know why that guy was defending Freddie. It's not his problem," She sighed to herself. "I'll never understand guys."

**You know what to do. I tried to make this chapter a little bit longer, so please try to make your reviews a little bit longer, if you can, if it's not any trouble.**


	10. Guitar and Spaghetti Tacos

Chapter 10

Spencer had gone shopping, to buy the icarly gang more clothes for the trip. Al already had a suitcase packed with his clothing. Freddie and Carly were packing food for the trip. And Sam was just walking around the house, looking at pictures on the wall, and making comments.

All looked a little irritated, and looked at Sam.

"Hey Sam, are you gonna help out?"

All Sam had to say in return was,

"wow, you had a mohawk?" She was looking at a photo on the wall.

"No, that's my twin brother," Al said sarcastically.

"Come on Sam," Freddie said, "are you gonna help?"

"Oh, and here's another picture of Albert with a Mohawk."

"Hey," Al said. "My name's Alex, not Albert."

Freddie said, "She calls me weird names all the time. I think she has a crush on me."

"In your dreams Frednub," Sam said, plopping down lazily onto the couch.

"Come on Sam, get up and help us," said Freddie, who was now printing up a road map to nickelodeon studios.

"No way," Said Sam. "You can't make me."

In response, Al picked up the DVD remote, and started scrolling around the menu. When he was finished, and iCarly episode began to play. Al fast forwarded it to the part that he wanted it to be. Then he paused it.

Sam looked confused, and said, "What is this?"

Al said, "Come on Sam, get up and help us out, or I'll play the part where you and Freddie kiss."

"No way…" Sam said in disbelief. "You don't have that." But even as she said that, she recognized the familiar fire escape background.

"That's not fair!" She complained.

"Oh, yes it is," Al said.

Sam looked around helplessly for a couple of seconds, then she cleared her face, and said, "no, you wouldn't, your too nice."

"You got me," Al said. He dropped the remote, and went over to the corner of the room, where there was a guitar on a stand. He picked It up, went outside on the porch, and said, "nobody bother me, I need to be alone for a little bit."

"Its fine," Carly said. "Were done packing anyway."

Al went outside and closed the door behind him.

"Wow, he can play guitar." Carly said. "I always thought it was cute, when a guy plays guitar."

"Only when he sings at the same time," Sam added.

"Well, yeah." Carly said. "If that guy would play guitar out my bedroom window, I'd run right down to him."

"It depends on his voice." Sam said. "I'd say maybe, if he has a good singing voice." She approached the porch, straining to hear Al singing, and she heard him faintly.

"You shouldn't bother him." Carly said.

"So what?" Sam said. "I do a lot of things that I shouldn't do."

Freddie began preparing spaghetti for them all to eat.

"I wonder what he's singing about." Sam said.

She crept still closer to the door.

"_Chizz_." Sam said. "He's singing in Spanish."

"I can speak Spanish," Carly said.

"No you can't," Sam said. All you can say is, "_Me llamo Carly_."

"Hey, are you calling me dumb?"

"Well Carly, you're not the smartest girl in Ridgeway."

"But I wear cute skirts." Carly said.

Alex continued to sing in Spanish. Sam even closer to the door, debating whether or not she should burst in and interrupt Al's singing.

But she never would, because right at that moment, something else happened.

Carly glanced up at the TV, still paused at the fire escape scene. "You know," Carly said quietly amost to herself, "I've always wanted to know how it happened." Her eyes looked hypnotized, staring perplexedly at the large plasma screen TV.

"How what happened?," Sam asked. But she felt a sinking sensation in her stomach that had nothing to do with hunger or ham. She had a feeling she already knew what Carly was talking about.

Freddie looked worried. "Uh, Carly, come here, why don't you have some spaghetti," he said, trying to distract Carly."

"Wait Freddie, just a sec," Carly said, as she glanced at the DVD remote.

On the TV, there was a frozen image of Freddie and Sam, sitting close to each other, looking in each other's eyes. To Carly, they were practically begging for Carly to press play, so they could come to life and kiss each other.

"Come on, you said you were hungry, right?" Freddie said, more desperately trying to distract her.

"Yeah," Carly said, "But hold on one second."

Sam reached out to the doorknob, to interrupt Al playing guitar on the porch, but she suddenly froze when she heard something that made the hairs on the back of her neck stand straight up. She glanced at Carly, who was slowly making her way to the DVD remote.

Freddie looked more worried, and said, "Here, look, I have an idea. This guy is Mexican, right? I'm sure he's got tortillas somewhere around here, we can make spaghetti tacos."

Freddie began to desperately search for tortillas.

"Sure," Carly said, "But there's something I want to do real quick."

Carly reached for the DVD remote.

"Uh, Carly-" Freddie said, approaching her with a tortilla in his hand.

Carly picked up the remote.

Sam was still frozen with her hand on the doorknob.

"Come on Carly," Freddie said, as he made his way around a couch.

Carly stared at the screen in fascination, and aimed the remote at the TV

Sam finally found her voice and said, "Don't do it Carls."

"Huh?" Carly said.

"Trust me Carly, you don't want to do it," Said Sam, still looking at the door.

"No, I really think I do." Carly said, and she reached her finger slowly toward the play button.

* * *

Come on you guys, you know what to do. It would make me very happy if you leave a thought ful REVIEW.

Hope you are enjoying this story. If you reveiw, i'll try to get annother chapter in by tommorow night.


	11. Caught on tape kissing a nub

CHAPTER 11

"No I really think I do…" Carly said. She brought her finger down on the remote button, slowly.

Freddie approached her quickly, and said, "Carly!"

"What is it now?!" Carly said. She was angry that people kept interrupting her.

Freddie approached her. "Don't do it," he said.

"Why not," Carly said, "You can't tell me what to do." Carly held the remote behind her back, so Freddie couldn't take it.

"Come on, Carly. Just give me the remote."

"But Freddie," Carly said. "Those two people on the TV Screen look like they _really_ want to… do something."

"Yeah, but they need their privacy, so hand over the remote."

"No," Carly said, as she held it farther behind her back, away from Freddie.

Right then, Carly felt the DVD remote being tugged out of her hand in one swift motion. She turned around and saw Sam, holding the remote.

"Sam!" She complained. "Give it back!"

"Nope," Said Sam. "Afraid I can't let you do that, Carls."

Carly started to get frustrated, and Freddie could sense her getting mad. He took a step away from her.

"Come on Carly," Freddie said rationally. "Why do you want the remote anyway?"

"Because I want to see you and Sam kiss." Carly said.

"Okay." Freddy said. He turned to Sam, and said, "Do you want to start right now, or…"

"Eeew, Fredward. You promised we'd never do that again." Sam said forcefully.

"Oh, yeah… right." Freddie replied. "I don't know what came over me. Eeew. Yuck."

Carly said, "If you don't want to kiss right now, then hand me the remote. I want to see how it happened."

"Why?" Freddy asked helplessly.

Carly looked at Freddie. "You said we'd never keep secrets from each other, remember?"

"I know," Freddie said. "We told you. But you don't have to see how it happened. That's sort of…personal. You're kind of invading our privacy."

"Oh, so now its _privacy_." Carly said. "Sam and Freddy having private, personal moments. I still don't know why you guys kissed in the first place."

"I told you," Freddy said. "I swear, it was just to get it out of the way"

"Well, if you had never kissed anyone," Carly said, "Then why didn't you just tell me, I would have…"

Carly turned red for a moment, but she quickly recovered to her pale complexion.

"So anyway, just let me see it." Carly said.

"No," Sam argued.

"Why?" Carly asked.

"Because…" Same faltered. Freddy and Carly looked at her.

"Because it's kind of embarrassing to be caught on tape kissing a nub."

"It figures." Freddy said resignedly.

"Give me that DVD remote!" Carly shouted. She began to chase Sam around the house.

"No!" Sam said, as she ran away.

"Give it to me!" Carly screamed.

"Not in a million years," Sam said.

"Hold on, twenty second time out! Twenty second time out!" Freddie said.

Right at that moment, Al opened the porch door, and entered the house. He accidentally opened it in Sam's face, and the remote flew out of the hand.

"Owww," Sam said, "Why did you do that?"

"Sorry, Al said," "It was an accident."

The remote fell on the hard wood floor.

Carly saw her chance. She bent down, grabbed the remote, aimed it at the DVD player, and pressed play.

* * *

**oooh, suspense. Please review, i'll try to get annother chapter in, (yes, a much longer one.) later on today.**


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